How to Properly Dispose of Unwanted Sex Toys
Breakups are never easy. Whether it's with a partner or a once-cherished sex toy, it can be a rollercoaster of emotions. But when your trusty, battery-powered companion has reached the end of its thrilling road, sometimes there is no other choice but to say goodbye. But when the time comes to part ways, you don't want to just toss your once-loved toy in the rubbish, leaving it to the merciless jaws of a garbage truck, or worse, have your neighbour's dog dig it up from the backyard.
Fear not, dear readers, for we have ventured deep into the underbelly of sex toy disposal to find the most practical, responsible (and sometimes hilarious) ways to say goodbye to your bedroom buddy.
Knowing When to Call It Quits
First and foremost, knowing when to let go is crucial. As the famed philosopher Kenny Rogers once said,
"You've got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, know when to run."
There are two main reasons for getting rid of a sex toy: performance and safety.
Performance-wise, if your vibrator’s motor sounds like a dying lawnmower, it’s probably time to put it out of its misery. In terms of safety, if the surface of your favourite dildo is cracking and flaking like filo pastry, that’s a guaranteed haven for bacteria and you shouldn’t put it anywhere near or in your body again.
Finding Your Sex Toy's Final Resting Place
Once you've decided to part ways, it's time to determine where your former friend will go to meet its maker. As tempting as it might be to chuck your toy in the nearest skip or casually toss it in the rubbish, there are better ways to lay your sexy sidekick to rest:
Recycling Programmes: A Green Goodbye
Sex toys are made from various materials, some of which can and should be recycled. With this in mind, some sex toy companies actually offer recycling programmes for sex toys. You can send your discarded playthings to them and they'll make sure they're properly disposed of, keeping both your conscience and the environment happy.
The DIY Route: Taking Matters into Your Own Hands
If you're more of a do-it-yourself type, you can dismantle your sex toy and dispose of its components separately. For silicone, TPE, or elastomer toys, cut them into smaller pieces and put them out for your regular bin man to collect. For battery-powered toys, remove the batteries and recycle them appropriately. If your toy has a motor or circuitry, check your local e-waste recycling guidelines.
Sharing is Caring: The Art of Regifting
Now, before you start cringing, we're not suggesting you pass on your used sex toys to friends or family. But if you have unopened, unused toys that you know you'll never use, why not give them to someone who might appreciate them?
Consider hosting a "naughty swap party" with your friends, where everyone brings unopened, unused sex toys to exchange. It's a fun, eco-friendly way to find new pleasure products without spending a penny.
A Creative Solution: Turning Your Sex Toy into Art
For the artistically inclined, you may want to consider repurposing your retired sex toy into a unique piece of art. You can bedazzle it, paint it or turn it into a quirky sculpture - just think carefully about where in your home you want to display it.
One artist we spoke with transformed her collection of expired vibrators into a dazzling chandelier.
"I call it 'The Pleasure Palace,'" she said. "It's a great conversation starter, and I love the shocked expressions when people realise what it's made of."
A Lesson in Letting Go: The Emotional Side of Sex Toy Disposal
Sex toys can hold a lot of sentimental value. Maybe it was your first vibrator or the dildo that helped you discover the wonders of G-spot orgasms. Whatever the reason, parting with a beloved sex toy can be surprisingly emotional.
If you are feeling down, make sure to treat yourself. Look for a new upgraded version of your now-defunct device and, if possible, give yourself one last mammoth sex toy session before you finally say au revoir!
Sex toys are a fun, intimate part of many people's lives and saying goodbye to them can be an emotional rollercoaster. Whether you opt for a recycling program, DIY disposal, or a full dildo dismantling, remember that your sex toy brought you years of joy and pleasure in its prime and it deserves a proper send-off. So raise a glass, shed a tear, and bid adieu to your bedroom buddy in the most unforgettable way possible. With the right combination of respect, creativity and law-abiding disposal methods, you can give your once-loved pleasure products the dignified farewell they deserve.
Once you've finished mourning your favourite dildos passing, you can look to replace that missing piece of your sex drawer with one from the huge range at Australia's largest dildo store.